The following are some tips for discussing issues regarding crisis recovery.

1. Be willing to answer questions for your children. If they are asking questions, they are seeking information to help them understand the situation.

2. Be honest with the information you give to your child, but present information based on the child’s age and ability to comprehend. If you are uncertain as to how much information to divulge regarding painful topics, seek advice from qualified professionals.

3. Children are very resilient and can often cope well. However, silence does not always indicate good coping strategies. In situations in which parents are preoccupied, a child may pick up on the parent’s concerns and feel that they should not interrupt or intrude. Do not be afraid to raise discussion topics with your children.

4. Some children will cope well in the short term, but may have a delayed response to stress. One discussion may not be enough.

5. Some children and adults may have more perceptible reactions to stress such as feelings of depression and withdrawal, anxiety or panic attacks, and nightmares. In younger children, behavioral or emotional outbursts may increase. Monitor changes in behavior and emotional functioning.

6. In any discussion of disaster issues, the loss has to be addressed. Simply telling children that everything will be fine in the midst of lost or destroyed possessions conflicts with their reality. Acknowledge loss, but attempt to provide relief by explaining how rebuilding or re-acquisition can occur.

7. Set realistic time lines for recovery based on your particular situation.

8. Empower your children to make contributions to recovery. Simple gestures like planting a flower for a neighbor, lending a friend in need a toy to play with or bringing an extra snack to school for another child who may have been displaced from their home can be positive ways to engage children in the recovery process.

9. Remind your children that even though the environment has changed, your love for them has not. And really remind them. This is not a time when we should assume that children know how we feel. Reassurance is important and it needs to be concrete in a time of so many changes.

10. If problems persist, seek professional help which may be family based in addition to individual counseling. Seek out support groups for children and parents alike to help them cope with loss and recovery issues.

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